Thursday, November 19, 2009

After processing the information about the pineal gland I decided to take myself off of my zoloft. Before you get concerned, I know it is a weaning process and have currently cut my dosage by 50%. I need to find the Spry toothpaste and I am going to look for it as soon as I finish my post. Did you check your toothpaste and see the warning about calling Poison Control Center if you swallow toothpaste? Kind of scary. Besides that, I definitely don't want to calcify the gland that allows me to connect!

I thought I felt a little anxiety today and realized I was holding my breath and taking small breaths instead of cleansing breaths.

I realized that cleansing breaths are key to lowering my stress and anxiety levels.

I cannot believe how determined I've been to change my life style and how successful I've been. If you have told me 6 months ago that I would be able to be satisfied without consuming massive amounts of sugar and breads, I don't know if I would have believed it. In the past my body craved sweets and breads and I thought I was weak because I did not resist and eventually fell back into my old habits of consuming massive amounts of sugar and other white food products.

There has been pastries, fruit, birthday cake in the break room this week. My co-worker Charisse, Mark and I tease about there being "poison in the break room" for consumption. The truth is, I am not even tempted because I feel satisfied almost always.

I think that I am somewhat obsessed and maybe a little overboard. I see the pregnant co-worker having yogurt that is filled with sugar, people drinking cokes, and diet cokes and would like to tell them there is a better choice. So, yes, I am definitely a little obsessed. However, I think for me; thinking of it as poison is the best thing for me. It was poison to me!

Don't limit your butter, olive oil, etc., based on old beliefs. I think that is why some classmates are feeling hungry on this program. They are attempting to converge Fat makes you Fat concept and BFC. If you use enough butter, olive oil, etc., you will be satisfied and your body will quit telling you to eat foods and drinks filled full of sugar. That happened to me and I never thought I had enough self-control to deprive myself of sweets and cokes. Self-control is a myth; when you fill our bod with the appropriate foods, the cravings go away. If they do not, then you are emotionally eating.

Tip: Go buy a chunk of 2 of your favorite cheeses and cut them in thumb sized squares and put them in a baggie in your home and work refrigerators. When you feel hungry or think you are craving a candy bar or cola, go get a piece and slowly eat it, savoring each bite. You will be surprised that one day, you will go for the cheese without thinking of the sugar foods.

Being healthy is a Divine gift from my Higher Power and I gratefully accept it!

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

I had a computer meltdown the first of the week so I went out and purchased a laptop so I could be sure and not miss class, blogs, and motivational material while assuring I don't mess up my work computer going to assorted sites. It has become a part each day to share my life experiences, mainly about my current life style changes and get information to help keep me rolling in the right direction.

A friend of my sister's, that I reconnected with on facebook that I haven't seen for 30 years or more suggested that from now until Thanksgiving that we indicate what we are thankful for on a daily basis. I want to share with you all that I am thankful for picking up a First Women Magazine and finding the article written about Jorge Cruise and his BFC program. I wanted to be selected as one of the 20 that got free counseling until Christmas about his program. I then decided I could not wait until Oct. 31 because I wanted to be part of the 12 week program that had started 4 days earlier. I am so thankful that I joined on October 22nd and have been able to make a life style change, eat healthy, and get and share ideas with others from our class. I am grateful that I am able to purchase the foods, pills, fiber, protein drinks, Sobe Waters and Mint Water in order to make this lifestyle change.

I am thankful that I was diagnosed with Type II Diabetes so I would finally be serious about making such a change. I've cut down on my zoloft dosage and have shown no signs of being anxious or blue. I'm pretty sure the diet drinks and sugar played a good role in my feelings of listlessness and anxiety.

Tip: Keep the meals simple. Tonight, we put together a bean soup, a shrimp and cheese quesadilla, a salad composed of Boston butter lettuce, baby spinach, avocado, and cheese with a little bit of Girard's Champagne Dressing. It was all delicious and we could hardly eat it all. It took about 20 minutes to make this meal.

While I was sauteing the shrimp with Old Bay Seasoning, butter, olive oil, and pepper, I realized the reason I didn't cook much when we were a family of 5 is that I had a belief system that I had to put together a meal of protein, 2 vegetables, or 1 with 1 fruit, dessert, and bread. It was exhausting and the prospect of the time and energy it would take was overwhelming, so I usually ended up letting Mark cook or suggesting we eat out.

Being Healthy is a Divine Gift from my Higher Power and I gratefully accept it!

Keep your meals simple; at least for the day in and day out regular meals.

Mark asked me why I had my weight loss chart in pounds of butter, since butter does not make me fat and I was adding a color when I lost a pound. I considered this and decided it made more sense to turn each lost pound into black. This way the belly fat is disappearing.

I've set 2 goals - my first goal is 199 and I want to be at the weight early 2010. The 2nd goal is the rest of the weight I desire to lose in 2010. I have lost 8 pounds since I've been on the BFC and 6 inches around my waist. I had blood work done today and anticipate the results of my glucose level, bad cholesterol level, and AC1 or whatever the level that needs to be 6.3% or lower. Mine was 8.5% when I last had my blood drawn.

My weight loss visual will be part of my Vision Board I put together and it will be a living Vision Board since that chart, along with our dreams change and mature as we grow. A picture of a home will also be on my Vision Board and I once again see myself owning my own place of sanctuary.

Being healthy is a Divine Gift from my Higher Power and I gratefully accept it!
Replace food with people connections!

Monday, November 16, 2009

I felt a little frustrated tonight because my class came on for a few minutes and then went off the air. I currently don't know if that was only me or if the whole class was stopped. I had some office work to do, so I did that and went back and was able to view the whole class on Emotional Eater.

Am I an emotional eater? You bet! To give you a little background; before I went to therapy I was always ravenous; nothing seem to fill me up. I have memories of standing at the pantry looking for cookies, bread, and anything else to put in my mouth. I could not be trusted to make any homemade dessert because I would find myself eating more than anyone else around.

I was in individual counseling for 10 years and group therapy for 7. I walked through the darkness into the light. It was hard work. I was able to shred my anger, inadequacy, and more importantly than anything, my self loathing and hatred. I learned that in order to truly love and accept myself, I had to do it right then; waiting to lose weight, tone muscles, or look good in a bathing suit before loving myself, meant that when I did all those things, I still would not truly love and accept myself.

It's been 7 years since I've been in therapy and occasionally I forget pieces of what I learned. It is great to have Jorge's class to validate concepts and truths I learned several years ago. Now that I love myself at (244.5 lbs), I am sure I will love and accept myself at 165 or so. I have 2 weight goals set; one at 199 and one at 165. After that, I will decide if that is my permanent goal or if I want to go further.

I have a little metal statue of a cute monkey holding a mirror and peering into it. I have it in my bedroom because it reminds me to look at my own stuff instead of others.

One thing I know about myself is that I go back and forth with isolating myself from others to being involved. Being present to my girls, husband, and Kirsten and keeping a connection has been natural for me. It's friends that are outside my immediate circle that I have a tendency to isolate from. I will be looking for BFC buddies to share with while in the class and hopefully thereafter. Being healthy is a journey that lasts my whole life and I will need support to continue my healthy life style. Thanks to all who have asked me questions and shared personal experiences or found further information about food I've explored.

The real surprise tonight - The information about the Pineal Gland. I was so shocked that toothpaste has a poison warning on it if swallowed and that is calcifies my pineal gland. I didn't even know I had one of those until tonight. I definitely don't want to destroy my ability to connect with others. I'm going to check my toothpaste as soon as I finish posting. This is a controversial subject about what destroys the Pineal gland and I will research it and come to my own conclusion. Check your toothpaste and see what you think!

I was also surprised to find that the anti-depressant I take, zoloft, destroys the pineal gland. However, I have heard some people say it makes them feel disconnected and not desire to be connected to even friends and family. I've been wanting to stop taking my zoloft, a gradual process, and be off of it. Other times, when I was consuming large amounts of sugar and diet drinks, I felt anxious and was short-tempered when I cut down my dosage. I was thinking last
week that I wanted to try again. With, Jorge's inspiration, I'm going to work on cutting the dosage and see if I can be off of my zoloft for sure by 2010.

My tip of the day is to share one of Jorge's tips from tonight: Create a VISION Board! I've told my girls that they create their life by day dreaming, imagining, and visualization. A Vision Board fits that and is something I want to put together. I will have one done by Thanksgiving.

Being healthy is a Divine gift from my Higher Power and I gratefully accept it!
Replace food with people!

Sunday evening - November 15, 2009

I mentioned Slenderize Fuze as a possible option in an earlier post and I wanted to be sure everyone knew that Slenderize Fuze 0 Calorie drink has sucralose in it. Sucralose is Splenda. I thought I'd checked the bottle pretty good, but I missed it. I think I might have been looking for the brand name of Splenda.

Tip: Be sure to check every ingredient and if you find an ingredient you don't know what it is, either stay away from it or google the term. More information than you can possible need will be available.

Being healthy is a Divine Gift from my Higher Power and I gratefully accept it!

Sunday, November 15th

The rest of this year is flying by. I've had a very satisfying and as I sit watching the Cowboy - Packer game, I am feeling grateful that the Universe is sending me abundance. Mark and I are eating food we like and eating healthy. Something that I didn't used to think was possible. It is so important to make sure your kitchen has healthy food choices in it. I believe that since we are empty-nesters, it is easier to keep the sugar and unhealthy carbs out of the house; especially if your children are used to large amount of sweets, breads of all kinds, and have not been reading labels to determine your choices.

Do know that I only wish I had been educated by Jorge 25 or 30 years ago; I do believe I was meant to be on the journey I've been on, because I've been on it. And appreciate First Women magazine and Jorge Cruise at this point in my journey of life.

I've heard many specialists' words regarding emotional eating. At that time though, I felt deprived and often hungry. I cannot wait for tomorrow's class on emotional eating. Since I have the choice of eating foods that other programs do not allow, I do believe I am in a space to be more aware of emotional eating.

Tip: If you haven't found a drink to replace your diet or regular cola, experiment; there are all kinds of choices in the grocery store. I've found chocolate mint water that I think tastes like liquid chocolate. Don't give up until you find one that satisfies. We've been through many and are still experimenting.

Being healthy is a Divine gift from my Higher Power and I gratefully accept it!

Saturday, November 14, 2009

I went to the hair dresser and then to a party at a co-workers house tonight. I felt very satisfied. I made good food choices and had 2 glasses of wine. I did wonder what the desserts tasted like; I took a small piece about the size of my thumbprint and that was enough. It tasted sweet and I really didn't want anymore. I made the choice to not consume pie containing sugar and I feel great about it.

We sang karaoke and played ping pong. Although Mark and I only knew our co-worker out of 30 people of so, we still had a good time. The atmosphere was comfortable. What I noticed about tonight is that I didn't grieve about the food that wasn't good for me and I didn't feel deprived. I feel empowered tonight.

It's amazing how much easier it is when you feel at choice and I felt at choice tonight. I am happy with the support I am getting from my husband Mark. He has given up his 2 Dr. Peppers a day and while he still hasn't found a replacement that he is crazy about, he is drinking FUZE and tea. He is attempting to drink more water. I am glad he is working at getting healthy with me.

Tip: Be ware of the Fuze. You have to get the ones with slenderize on them. There are some that have many more sugars; stay away from those.

Being healthy is a Divine Gift from my Higher Power and I gratefully accept it!

Friday, November 13, 2009

I realized today that I've been brainwashed against sugar and that is a good thing. Mark and I walked by an office today and there were some brownies in open aluminum file. I said to him, 'Ah, she is poisoning her co-workers and guests with what is disguised as delicious looking brownies'!

Mark told me he saw some construction workers sitting outside our building, drinking coffee and eating donuts, and he thought, 'Look at those guys killing themselves'.

We have learned so much and I don't find a donut or candy bar tempting when I think of it as my silent killer. I can say these things humorously and the truth of the matter is that sugar, is consumed in very large quantities, ~156 pound average per person and it does cause health problems. I hope I can one day quit taking my crestor and metformin and control my blood sugar and cholesterol without taking meds.

http://www.55-alive.com/BooksandGames.php?artID=7342 is a link that supports Jorge's information regarding hidden sugars and how reading the label is the only way to truly know how much sugar you are really consuming. I know I feel much better limiting the amount of sugar in my body.

About 10 years ago, a friend of mine was talking about how she limited her daughters to a brownie a day or every other day. I couldn't imagine that. Like Jorge talked about not consuming 4 brownies at a time, I was an emotional eater and sugar was my main staple. I could make fudge or chocolate peanut butter drop cookies and eat the whole batch. I could eat 2 Peanut M&Ms and then follow it with Reese's Pieces at the movies later that night. I do love breads and sweets and I am learning how to enjoy 1 or look for foods that can satisfy me that have no sugars.

Why am I talking about this? The Holiday Season is coming up and my family celebrates big with food and more food, especially honey baked ham, breads, and desserts. As long as I can continue to see huge amounts of sugar as poison and keep a sense of humor about it, I believe I can enjoy the holidays without consuming 150 more pounds of sugar by the end of the year.

Prepare yourself now so you know how you are going to feel satiated and happy over the holidays without adding sugar. And, if you think you cannot, listen to Jorge's Lesson 5, coming up this Monday on emotional eating for inspiration and support.

Tip: Keep plenty of cheese, nuts, 0 sugar naturally sweetened drinks, and healthy treats around so you always have something to help out with cravings. And, most of all, if you really want something, plan a way to have it once, in a small portion, so you don't feel deprived.

Being healthy is a Divine Gift from my Higher Power and I gratefully accept it!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

It's surprising how much I am learning daily about sugar and carbohydrate content. I decided to go to PopEye's for lunch and have spicy chicken and red beans; without the rice. When I was at the counter, I told myself I should eat the cole slaw because it was better for me. Later on I found the PopEye's nutrition information online.

Check out the carbs and sugars in the following PopEye's menu items! Not too bad! I was surprised.

I wondered if the sugar was not being reported, but look at the Cole Slaw; Dietary fiber is 9 grams, not bad, but look at the sugar; 15g! Would you have thought; I didn't. I thought this would be healthier for me but it definitely would not be the better choice. I think I need to start checking nutrition values before I head to the restaurant. If I ever have a desire for PopEye's again, I'll feel more confident about my choices.

I had Red Beans without the rice.

Sugar is only 2g and I was surprised at the fiber 17g. I'm unsure how to recalculate the total carbs without the rice or if it is the same. What would you have picked? Knowing how to estimate sugars is probably harder than estimating the carbs. While I enjoyed the chicken and feeling my craving fulfilled, I am ready to continue to cook my own meals so I know exactly how many sugars and carbs I am consuming.

Oops! Almost forgot the buttermilk biscuit. Take a look.

One more thing. I am going to tell on myself. I decided to have a coke with my meal. It's been over 3 months since I've had a real coke. I probably drank 4 ounces. I didn't enjoy it; I didn't want to finish the drink. I definitely like tea better. Interesting, while I've always had unsweetened tea, I do like putting a little purevia in my tea these days to give me a little sweetness.

Tip: Keep checking labels and nutrition values, even if it is after the meal; because you can become educated for next time.

Being healthy is a Divine gift from my Higher Power and I gratefully accept it!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

I tried to create cocoa krispies today! I put 3/4 cup Uncle Sam's cereal, 1/2 scoop of Jay Robb whey protein, almond breeze, and a sprinkle of purevia. I figured if the chocolate powder could be used with oatmeal, that is might be good with the cereal. I am still not sure if I will ever make it again, but it did remind me of cocoa krispies. If I do, I will probably mix the powder in the almond breeze and then pour it on the cereal.

I believe the key is to be creative, have fun, and find what works for me. I have definitely increased my fiber intake and have been aware of consuming more fiber since Monday's meeting.

I am still not keeping the tracking sheet 100%. I do think keeping the food diary is so important to my success. Gary, The Weight Wizard in Austin, TX, Jorge, and Shannon have all talked about how a major key to success is keeping a food diary. And, the tracking paper is easier than writing down actual foods consumed. I will be excited to find an iPhone app that will allow me to track 15/6 and 30 g of fiber, because I almost always have my phone.

If you feel deprived on BFC, I think Monday night is a session that will help. I felt weak when I logged in and writing my blog has helped reinforce information I've been given from several food experts.

Tip: Have fun and experiment with your meals. Think about items that used to be off limits or severely limited like avocados, bacon, and butter.

Being healthy is a Divine gift from my Higher Power and I gratefully accept it.