I have been sad today. Someone in our jorgecruise blog mentioned that someone who has lost 7-9 pounds per week must have quit a bit to lose. One person lost 7 or so pounds in the first week and had 40 to lose. I have 80 more pounds to lose. While I've lost 10 pounds since I began my lifestyle change journey on October 23rd, I have not lost 7 or so pounds per week; not even 4 actually. I wonder if Mark and I are not following the program as well as we could be. It's always been this way for me. I start off with a super positive mind set and then as the weeks go, I feel almost hopeless.
I don't want to change my lifestyle back to over consuming sugars and breads. I want to be a size where I can wear normal clothes; classy, stylish, sensual clothes. I seem to want it now, instead of 6 months from now and want the weight to melt off more quickly.
So, I am going to tell on myself. I don't use the tracker, I count in my head. I don't count my carbs for the Benefiber; I figured those should be free, since I didn't initially understand there would be carbs in it. My fasting glucose was up to 132 the other day and I thought I had been following the program closely. I find myself thinking what Jorge said - if I am not losing 4-9 pounds each week, then I am not doing something right. I feel angry because I have stopped cokes, white breads, limited my tomatoes and fruits, and purchased fiber, pro-biotic pills, spry toothpaste, and whey protein. While I feel better I find I want better visible results.
Thanksgiving is coming up and I am cooking the turkey. However, as much as I've tried to control my menu, I still have pies coming from one of our guests and I am scared I will destroy my new lifestyle; mainly because I am going to sabotage myself by thinking things are going too slow, so why continue.
How do I navigate through all the belly bad foods and continue to choose the belly good foods? I almost dread the holiday season because of the temptations and my current state of thoughts and feelings.
I don't have a tip today, I hope you all have tips for me. I want to continue making the choices that are right for me. I tell myself, some day I will be where I want to be and maintain my healthy size while still being able to occasionally enjoy belly bad foods and still be healthy. That's not this Holiday Season though. I'm afraid that I will slip into the world of sugar consumption and never turn back; at least until I am forced to by some serious health issue.
I read the articles about travelers on airlines being hacked off because lazy, undisciplined, fat people cannot fit in their seats and wonder why they are not facing the obesity issue I am facing. I know I am in victim mode and don't want to be. Damn it! I want to be able to eat a piece of pumpkin pie without fearing the fall into the sugar abyss. I am scared and as I am sitting here, tears are falling and I cannot stop them. I want to be my girls' example of turning things around and I don't want them thinking that once again I am back to my old self-destructive habits.
I want to type my mantra, but I feel as if I am a fake. I want to be honest to myself. Do I really want instant health at the price of giving up the fudges, cakes, and pies I have enjoyed all my life? I did not nip my gaining weight in the bud until I had over 100 pounds to lose. There are probably those of you that are disgusted and I am disgusted.
I will sign off with my mantra because Melody Beattie says that if you can act "as if" you are grateful or are practicing a certain behavior, it will become truth. So here goes:
Being healthy is a Divine gift from my Higher Power and I gratefully accept it!
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Dale - Dont let someone else's progress make your wonderful progress mean any less! Let it be an encouragement at how much more you can lose with a few tweaks! Def. count everything over 4 carbs though. Remember to take all carbs for a meal add them together and then apply the S/C counting 0-4=0 5-20=2, etc. Not individually. You are doing so well Dale, you can make it through these hard times. Check my blog, several of us put together recipes and idea for Thanksgiving. You CAN do this! 10lbs in a month is great!
ReplyDeleteDale- I have at least 60 pounds to lose and am a bit discouraged, too, as I have only lost about 5 pounds (as of last week, I only weigh on Mondays) and feel I am following the program pretty closely. I too have given up my diet Coke, white bread and all that sugar I used to eat . I am doing this for my health and well being and think that even if my weight is slow to disappear, my body will appreciate my new eating habits in other ways. As Amber (Me and Jorge) said, please check out our blogs for lots of product and recipe ideas. We can get through this together. Stick with us!
ReplyDeleteTry not to get discouraged. I know that it seems like a slow moving process sometimes, but it is worth it and you will not regret your new eating lifestyle.
ReplyDeleteAdmitting that you have not been using the tracker is a big step in the right direction too. My results were slower when I was not using it. I really recommend using it. Somehow, seeing everything written down really helps.
If you are worried about eating pie this Tday, check out the blogs that Susan and Amber mentioned above. We put some alternatives that will satisfy your desire for sweets.
I had a week where I gained! Wow that was hard & I allowed myself to slide. Don't slide. I personally believe that some people are more proned to lose weight quicker (I have never been one of them). Regroup your thoughts - rewatch the online coaching lessons. I have lost 10lbs too, but its not "only" ten lbs - its two 5lb bags of sugar! Sometimes we will slip but it will be in those moments that we don't slip that we will build strength!
ReplyDeleteUse the tracker if only as peace of mind. It also gives yourself something tangible to show to the VIP crew if you need it reviewed.
It is easy to get down (I have been there) - step away from it all for an hour. If you like to shop - go browsing through a store. Or if you like to walk - take a walk and clear your head. That way maybe youwill come back to it with a clear head.
Did you measure your waist? I find the week I lose less on lbs. is the week my waist goes down.
Look where you have come in such a short time! I'm proud of you - you can do this!!!!!
Maura
Mom,
ReplyDeleteI love you. You are a strong woman who can envision the things and life she wants and go for it. Don't despair. Remember 2 things- one, that you are doing this for your health, for your diabetes, and even if it is slow to follow, your weight will drop. A month is not so long as it can sometimes seem. The second thing is this- this is a LIFESTYLE change, not a diet. And while 9 times out of 10 or 99 times out of a hundred you need to/want to stick with the program, small indulgences here and there are not 'failures.' As long as you can maintain a low percentage of indulgences, then take them every now and then and enjoy them. Life is not meant to deny yourself, and the occasional slice of cake or pie is better than how it used to be, correct? You are aware of what you are taking in and that is another good step. If you really want a piece of pumpkin pie on Thursday, have one. Eat a handful of nuts with it so you have protein and keep it to a small sliver. If anyone asks just let them know that your diabetes is serious and that you can't really eat sweets that much. And if you don't feel like you're missing out, then don't have any pie at all! Look on your friends sites and get a good recipe for something that will satisfy your sweet tooth and not be too unhealthy.
I am not afraid of the holidays, as I will be taking the majority of my meals with you and dad and haley, and all of us are trying to eat better. I will stick with you on this. If you think about it, the only really hard times will be at Nanny and Poppaws or Sonny and Betty's, but even then, we can support each other and bring a few key things to help keep your sugar down (i.e. whole wheat breads, etc.)
I am with you on this! Keep in mind, that while losing weight is a very nice perk, the whole point is that you are the healthiest you you can be! And as I do not want to grow up to be a diabetic (or if it is inevitable, then I want to make the change now instead of later), I too am doing this for my health and not for my size. We are who we are. We are amazing, beautiful, loving, fun people. Screw those skinny folks with judgements who can eat whatever they want. They don't understand, and I honestly could care less what they think. We love you Mom. Be strong, I know you are...
Love,
Crystal